RESOLUTIONS: ALIVE OR DEAD?

Here we are at the end of the first month of the New Year already—what a fun time it is to take a look at what is different for you in 2009.  

To make it easy, first take a look at all the circumstances that have changed for you.  Perhaps you have been hit by the economic downturn –who hasn’t in some way or another?  Perhaps there’s been some sort of change in your neighborhood?  Perhaps your routines have been upset because a particular retailer has closed its doors due to the recession or prices have increased so much?  Give it your full consideration and make notes about what is different – large things or small, it doesn’t matter.

Yes, this is the easy part – looking at the range of circumstances that have changed around you.  Now for the more interesting part!  How have you changed?  What is it that you have been doing differently since the start of the year?  How have you been different?  What have other people noticed about you?

Give full attention to every aspect.  Think about any circumstances that have arisen where you have dealt with matters differently – hopefully with more success than you have experienced in the past.  These need not be ‘big’ things – it might be something as simple as remembering to smile at the bank clerk and the checkout assistant!  Perhaps you have determined to reduce your ‘road rage’ and not get so frustrated with other drivers!  There are a million ways in which reduction of our own stress is in our own hands.  It is true that we cannot change the circumstances around us.  What we can change is how we view them and our response to them.

And now you can give yourself full permission to own and celebrate these changes!  Acknowledging yourself for the efforts you have made is just as important as making the changes themselves.

And what if you are struggling to find something that has changed in you?  Please read on!  Could it be that you had good intentions but haven’t made any changes so another opportunity has slipped away?  This does not mean that you should ‘beat yourself up’ for your failure or bury your head in the sand and pretend you never had the intention.  All is not lost!

We often start the New Year with the full intention of doing or being different – stopping smoking, not doing so much, not working so hard, giving ourselves more time, connecting with long lost friends, facing up to some fear that we’ve had, etc.   The great thing about resolutions is that they are inevitably about ‘me’, the individual, for it is at this time of year that we instinctively know that the only person we can influence is ‘me’ . . . and then we tend to forget as the year progresses.  This is not because time passing makes us forget – it’s because changing ‘me’ is always much harder than it sounds when made in the euphoria of the New Year.

So let’s stop kidding ourselves that making change can only happen once a year and if we don’t do it then, we just have to wait till the next year!  How about using the upcoming few weeks – the time when partying and celebrating tends to be ended, half of the world is in the middle of winter, spending is tight, etc. – to take another look at how you might be, or what you might do differently from what you have been doing in the past? 

We suggest that you take some time out for yourself and consider:

o   What will serve you to change? 

o   What will reduce your stress or negative emotions? 

o   What will raise your sense of well-being even higher than it is right now? 

And it worth always remembering: small steps are not only more possible but also absolutely invaluable.