Most of us when younger were told to think before you speak which is, no doubt, good advice. What we were not told is specifically what we are to think about and what else might we do to help us communicate effectively. Many of us may only stop to think if what we are ready to say feels nasty or inappropriate and is probably better left unsaid. Yet there is more to consider—it is the impact we will have on our listener(s). Having a positive impact requires that we also use our sensitivity as well as our thinking brain before we speak.

We were talking with a young first-time mother whose one-year old baby’s physical and mental development is compromised. She shared with us how she is so very tired of hearing thoughtless comments from people—mostly from total strangers. As an example, at a special water exercise class for babies with muscular developmental problems another mother walked up to her and said, “My baby doesn’t have severe problems like your baby.” Of course we are not aware of the tone in which this might have been said. It may have been said with deep compassion or just in a matter of fact way. Nevertheless we do know the impact it had on this young mother. She heard it as a cruel comment and felt hurt by it. We shall never know the other woman’s thought process that led to her making the comment . . . and it’s quite likely that she did not stay around to see her impact.

More on DEALING WITH THOUGHTLESSNESS…….”My baby doesn’t have severe problems like your baby”

 A few weeks ago we were interviewed for the first time for a radio program (we’ve since had two more radio interviews).  We’ve been reflecting on how differently we approached the prospect of doing radio interviews compared to how we might have—“might”?—no, we’re “sure” of how we would have dealt with the prospect of being interviewed on the radio a few years ago.  Yes, back when we each were unsure of who we were, living in what seemed like relative harmony with our inner critics (though at the time we had not been introduced!). 

More on CLUELESS ON RADIO

Yes, it’s pretty easy to stay positive when things are going well and life is hunky-dory.  You know, the times when you feel really well, full of vigor; the times relationships are easy and fulfilling; the time you feel valued, seen, respected; when you are engaged in activity that brings you joy.  In other words, the times when you feel the most wonderful and free from stress.

If you’re in that zone right now, isn’t positivity all around you?  If you aren’t in that zone right now, think back to a time when you were.  When in that zone, isn’t virtually anything possible for you?  Don’t you feel upbeat and notice that life flows smoothly? 

On the other hand, when life gets us by the jugular and wants to shake us about like a rag doll, positivity can disappear right off our radar screen.  And it can happen in an instant.  The positive energy drains from us just like water out of the basin when the plug is removed.  As the positive energy drains out the void is filled with negative energy that leaves us feeling “down”, “low” “depressed” and possibly “hopeless” and “fearful”. 

The other day we were talking with a mutual friend and colleague thanks to internet conferencing.  It transpired that her Mother is just back in this “low” place (for yes, we do cycle in and out of positivity).  She’s been on a roller-coaster ride with her health and her relationship with her younger daughter.  More on STAYING POSITIVE WHEN LIFE’S HARD

My birthday is this month (August) and I am doing something new for me.  Several weeks ago I decided that I would not only celebrate my birthday on the actual day but that I would celebrate in some way each day of the month in honor of my life.  I thought this was such a unique idea, although since telling some people about it, I did learn that another gal has been doing something like this herself — and good for her!

When I first told my husband Wayne that I was going to celebrate each day, you should have seen the look on his face — priceless!  Of course, he thought I would be doing something big each day or spending a lot of money each day.  And, no that isn’t what I am doing.  Yes, there are a couple of days that I have plans to go out to dinner, I’m setting an evening to go see a “chick flick” with a couple of girlfriends, I’m scheduled for a manicure and a pedicure later this week and I will certainly buy myself something along the way, although I haven’t thought of what just yet!  However, for the most part my celebrations are small yet meaningful to me. 

More on Many Ways to Celebrate!

We talk a lot about energy - someone’s ‘energy’ and how they come over to another person.  We are great at sensing when this is authentic energy or when it is being created from an ego point of view.  Generally speaking we learn how not to be beguiled by someone’s energy when it is not authentic.  By this I mean we have that familiar gut feeling that all is not well whenever we feel we are being manipulated in a way that is not to our benefit.

I was involved in some team-building this week and we were working on ‘elevator speeches’ - you know, the sort of 30 second description of what you do or what you are passionate about.  This type of exercise is designed to hone in on the essence of what it is someone is passionate about and express it in a way that totally engages their listener or listeners.  More on ENERGY AND AUTHENTICITY